


Support

by LittleSwallow (Hobbity)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Family, Fluff, Hard times getting better, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Past minor character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/pseuds/LittleSwallow
Summary: Thorin loves Bilbo - but there is so much he cannot tell him. But Bilbo still makes everything better.





	Support

**Author's Note:**

  * For [islandkate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandkate/gifts).



> For islandkate, who deserves her own Thorin and Bilbo and Dis and all the good things in life

Maths had never been Thorin’s strong suit. But he knew that it was not his poor arithmetics that made it impossible to make the numbers work. Too many bills and not enough income did it. He looked up to where a family picture hung on the wall. An old picture, a picture of happier times. Dis, still fully mobile and never suspecting the ordeal ahead of her, with Kíli in her arms and Fíli holding her hand. Thrain was in full kind-grandfather mode, beaming down at little Fíli. Thorin stood on Dis’ other side. He had just met Bilbo, the love of his life.

Five years on and Thrain was in a care home with dementia. The last time he had even remembered who Thorin was, he had accused him of failing his little brother.

Frerin’s picture on the wall was faded. Frerin, who had been so happy when Thorin let him join the motorbike tour with Dwalin, Bofur, and a few others. Frerin, who then drove his bike right into a boulder and died in Thorin’s arms.

Thorin gritted his teeth. He would not think about Frerin now. He would not. He would focus on Fíli and Kíli, and about how to come up with the money for the upcoming school trip. No. No. He would focus on their little faces, trusting their uncle to sort everything out, not knowing that their mother’s disability benefits were cut because some idiot in a cushy chair had decided that not being dependent on a wheelchair anymore meant being able to work a strenuous full time job, you lazy bitch, why don’t you take a job in a fast food joint.

He took several deep breaths. When his phone rang, it was Bilbo. He forced a smile, he knew Bilbo could hear it if he was not smiling. “Hey, how are you?”

“Good, good, what about you? Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

Dinner. Shit. How would he pay for that? “I’m great. And yes of course. What time should I pick you up?”

He had been with Bilbo for five years now. Bilbo was the best thing in Thorin’s life, other than being blessed with the best little sister and the most adorable nephews.

So he had never told Bilbo when the bills piled up. When Thrain’s dementia made him even harder to be around than before, he made sure that Bilbo and his father didn’t interact. Bilbo did not even know that Dis’ benefits were cut.

Bilbo came from a wealthy family and had never had to worry about money in all his life. He was sweet, and caring, and often very naive. And Thorin did not want to frighten him away with all his issues. Bilbo would never want to hurt anyone, but he might not want to be around a boyfriend who could not even take care of his family.

Half an hour and several desperate attempts to squeeze more money for eating out from the budget, Thorin called Bilbo. “Hey - I was just thinking - would you mind cooking for me tonight? I am really craving some of your food now, nothing in any restaurant here beats it… or is this too short notice?”

Bilbo laughed at the other side. “I’m always delighted to cook for you. It’s a bit short notice for a roast or lasagna, but...”

Thorin let Bilbo prattle on and list all the things he could cook. Bilbo was his little island of normality. 

When Thorin arrived, Bilbo opened the door with his apron on, and a speck of flour on his nose. Thorin chuckled and kissed it away.

“Am I early?” 

“No, I’m just running late.” Bilbo smiled. “Come on in.”

Thorin loved watching Bilbo cook. It reminded him of his childhood. He was raised mainly by his grandmother, who was an avid cook. She cooked in much the same style Bilbo did. 

But today, it also depressed him to sit there, watching Bilbo in his big kitchen, seeing all the nice furniture, the well-kept applications, knowing that Bilbo never had to worry about how to pay his electricity bill.

He loved Bilbo with all his heart, but he also felt the divide so keenly. He did not belong there - he had nothing to offer Bilbo. 

And that was how the evening went to hell.

Just after he had topped up their wine glasses after the main dish, Bilbo swallowed, twiddling with his glass. Thorin steeled himself.

“So,” Bilbo started. “It’s almost a year since we talked about this.”

“What?”

“Moving in together.” Bilbo looked at his wine, not Thorin. “It’s been five years.”

“Yes. Five good years, no?”

“Yes, five good years. But … I am not 20 anymore, Thorin. But I’m also not 60. I know I’m set in my ways, and you’re in yours, but… I’d like to have a life with you, not just a couple of dates a week.”

He should have been prepared for this. Bilbo was the domestic type. Thorin took his fingers off his wine glass. “I understand. But now is not a good time.”

“Why?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then make me understand.”

Thorin crossed his arms, and Bilbo mirrored him. When Thorin didn’t say anything, Bilbo uncrossed his arms and got up from the table, looking down at Thorin.

“It’s been five years, Thorin. Five years. And you cannot even be bothered to….” he broke off, and started pacing. “It’s just that it’s disrespectful, that’s what it is. You just sitting there, tall, dark, handsome, brooding, expecting me to understand that I just don’t understand and that I don’t understand any explanation, that I should just be happy to have you without any sort of commitment and ….”

“Stop that.” Thorin got up too, interrupting Bilbo. “That’s not… that’s not it.”

“So what is it then? How is it not disrespectful of you to just string me along, going on a few dinner dates - and ever less frequently - but...”

Thorin swallowed. “I cannot live with you because I need to take care of my family. I don’t expect you to understand, but I cannot let my little sister fend for herself. She cannot take care of the two little rascals, she really can’t. And then there’s my father. I’d love to spend more time with you, really, I would…” Thorin took a deep breath. “I know you deserve more than what I can give you.”

Bilbo looked straight into Thorin’s eyes, “How bad is Dis really?”

“She really is disabled!” Thorin practically screamed. “I know she does not look it and that’s why people like that poncy git cut her benefits, but I cannot believe you would doubt my word, you should have more respect…” Thorin could not stop his rant, and unleashed his entire anger at the social welfare agency at his boyfriend. Only when he noticed Bilbo was shaking, he stopped. With a dreadful feeling in his stomach he said in a much smaller voice: “I’m sorry. You did not deserve that.”

“No. But you needed to unload that.” Bilbo’s voice was shaky. “Her benefits were cut?”

“Yes.” Thorin’s heart was still racing. 

“So you’re supporting her now? And the kids?”

“Yes.” Thorin only noticed that his hands were curled into fists when Bilbo’s soft little hands covered his.

“It must be really tough for you.”

“You’ve no idea.”

“I think I do now.” Bilbo tugged at Thorin’s hands, leading him to the couch, where he gently pushed Thorin to sit down. “I’m so sorry, Thorin.” With that he sat next to Thorin and pulled Thorin’s head towards his shoulder.

And Thorin almost collapsed against his boyfriend, his face burrowed in the crook of Bilbo’s neck, bearing much of his weight, his body practically jelly as he melted against Bilbo. Bilbo just held on, as Thorin started to tremble. Thorin did not cry. He could not. His grandfather and father’s hold on him was still too strong for that sort of release, but he started to feel calmer. Once he stopped trembling, Bilbo’s curled a strand of Thorin’s hair against his finger.

“There is something I never told you too,” Bilbo whispered.

“There is?”

“Yes.” There was a pause before Bilbo continued. “I got an anxiety disorder. It used to be so bad that I could not leave the house, and I would not interact. When I met you on that hiking tour, I was in therapy and I was there on the recommendation of my therapist. I was panicking inside the entire time. And then this grumpy guy came along accusing me of looking like I don’t belong.”

Thorin cringed. It had not been his best day. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know.” Bilbo patted his head. “But I felt myself raising to the challenge and you saved me when I nearly fell into the river and well…” He giggled. “I don’t need to tell you the story of our relationship. But you know, without you I would not have made the progress I’ve made. Trying to impress you has made me venture out more and when a pipe burst it was the dread of having to explain to you why I could not call a plumber that enabled me to call a plumber.”

“I…” Thorin had no idea how to respond, but he composed himself and sat up, looking at Bilbo. Bilbo who was wearing his determined face.

“So,” Bilbo crossed his arms again, “on Sunday I’m still invited to tea with Dis and the boys, right?”

“Yes?”

“Good.” Bilbo pulled Thorin down again for a kiss and more.

~ * ~

Sunday arrived and Bilbo came round, helping to clean the table while Fíli and Kíli ran out to play with their little friends. They watched from the balcony.

“So,” Bilbo, who was sitting between Thorin and Dis began apropos of nothing. “I have thought about this and made some calculations.”

“You have thought about what dear?”

“Us living together and my house.”

Dis raised her head in alarm but did not say anything.

“Remodelling the ground floor is actually not as expensive as I’d have thought and we might not have to pay it all,” Bilbo continued. “It just needs a few tweaks and it is quite accessible.”

“What are you talking about, Bilbo?”

“Well, you said the only obstacle to us living together is that you’d miss your sister and nephews too much. I understand, of course, you lived together for a while and it would be cruel to deprive those dear boys off their uncle who has raised them so far. So the only logical solution, since I own such a ridiculously big house, is for Dis and the boys to live downstairs and us to live upstairs. There is a separate little kitchen. If that suits both of you, of course.” Bilbo looked from one speechless sibling to the other. “I could sell the house of course and we could settle in another neighbourhood, but truth to be told I am kind of attached to it.”

“I…” Dis started and looked at Thorin, who felt just as helpless as his sister looked.

“Dear,” Thorin swallowed. “We cannot possibly accept that… even if I were to pay you the same rent we pay here ….”

“You will do no such thing. We will split the utilities and that’s it.” Bilbo cocked his head. “Unless you’d rather not live with me at all.”

Damn that man. Bilbo knew him better than Thorin would have thought. Had Bilbo suggested this when they were alone his pride would have made him fight it. But here, looking at his sister, who deserved better than an apartment she could barely access, and looking down to where his nephews were having a duel with twigs… he saw them in Bilbo’s comfortable place, with his sister able to move about more. Little Fíli worried too much about his mother. He also deserved some peace of mind.

“Of course. What do you think Dis?”

“I don’t want Bilbo to feel obliged to do this for me.” Dis folded her hands, hunching her shoulders. “I never meant to be a burden.”

Bilbo pursed his lips. “You’re not. You’re the sister of the man I love and you two share such a lovely relationship. If it makes you feel better, Thorin and I could marry. Then we’re family and family looks out for each other, last I heard.”

A few moments passed, broken only by the playful yells of the children below. Then Thorin took Bilbo’s hand.

“Was that a proposal?”

“I suppose it was.” Bilbo had the grace to blush. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to blurt it out in this… in this practical manner. It should be more romantic, shouldn’t it.”

“But you’re such a practical person.” Thorin leaned forward to kiss Bilbo’s cheek. 

“Was that a yes?”

“Yes.” Thorin could not help the bright smile. “Yes, always yes.”


End file.
